Thank goodness there are those out there that can say it better than me. Listen to this (you may need to turn on your sound...but it'll be worth it, honestly).

STAND BACK UP (by Sugarland)

Go ahead and take your best shot,

Let 'er rip, give it all you've got,

I'm laid out on the floor,

but I've been here before,

I may stumble,

yeah I might fall,

I'm only human but aren't we all?

I might lose my way,

but hear me when I say,

I will stand back up,

Youll know just the moment when I've have enough,

Sometimes I'm afraid,

and I don't feel that tough,

But I'll stand back up.

I've been beaten up and bruised,

I've been kicked right off my shoes,

Been down on my knees more times than you'd believe,

When the darkness tries to get me,

There's a Light that just won't let me,

It might take my pride,

and my tears may fill my eyes,

But I'll stand back up.

I've weathered all these storms,

But I just turn them into wind,

so I can fly,

If what don't kill you makes you stronger,

When I take my last breath,

That's when I'll just give up.

So, go ahead to take your best shot,

Let 'er rip, give it all you've got,

You might win this round but you can't keep me down,

'Cause I'll stand back up,

And you'll know just the moment when I've had enough,

Sometimes I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough,

But I'll stand back up.

You'll know just the moment when I've had enough,

Sometimes I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough,

But I'll stand back up.

Peace on Earth

It's been a very hard couple of months for our little family. We've struggled on many fronts. With no money (the ex stopped making any support payments), no lawyer (yes, they do expect paid, afterall), and no sleep, I began to panic. How would I feed the children? How can we keep the house warm and the lights on? How can I fight this huge legal battle with no help, and no money to GET help??? What would I do for the holidays so the children didn't feel hurt?

When all else fails, get on your knees, Girl! I've been able to find some Peace. I can feed my family because I have food storage and there are those that will help with what I can't store. These great friends have been by me for years...they are so sweet and dear! They have been a huge blessing to me. There are those that can explain law to me so I can do some things myself until I can get money to get a lawyer (that will require the ex to part with money, so I don't see that happening...I know, I know..."bitter ex wife"...yeah, imagine that). They are there to give me the joke of the day, share a fun movie/story with us, or just here to laugh and break up the darkness in my little brain. They lift me, and my children and help us to find comfort. They keep us "steadfast and immovable". That's what friends are...little angels with BIG hearts! PEACEMAKERS. ;)

It began to change a little yesterday. It was Thanksgiving. We wrote down on paper all that we were thankful for, and cut each item up (and folded it for privacy) and put it in a jar on the table. It was a nice way for them to put their "hearts out there" without having to say it out loud (which was helpful to some of the sick ones here who can't really talk without coughing!). We ate well...food storage---yahoo! I have never realized how much of Thanksgiving is canned goods! Are you grinning, too? I had everything but the marshmallows. It was great. We were feeling thankful and happy (and sleepy).

Later, we decided to dig through all the drawers, shelves, old jackets, cabinets, and toy room clutter for change...little coins., lost piggy banks, hidden stashes. We found almost $64.00 worth! It was a fun way to explore the little nooks of our home (and a way to find the drawers that need the most attention NOW). We then decided what to do with that money. Their faces lit up as they thought of the good they could do with those little, tiny, coins. Ahhhh...the Spirit was working with us.

We toyed with how to use it. It was debated, discussed, and finally, part of the answer came last night. I was dinking around checking out the famous "Black Friday" ads after the children went to bed. (A girl can dream!) Walmart was having a sale on Christmas trees! So, we used a little part of our coins to get a Christmas tree (getting up at 4:30am...uuggh). And I learned something in the process...Walmart takes rolled coins! Tree found, we came home and went back to bed. Thankful for blankets.

That added to the spirit of the home's holiday atmosphere. The rest of the coins will be used for good deeds. The children will decide as the days go on how to use what they found. The true Spirit of Christmas will be found this year, I'm sure! Despite the current challenges, I have much to be thankful for. Mostly, those cute little faces (some taller than me) that trust me, and love me, and work with me. They each are great. And together, we're unbeatable!

I was putting the little ones to bed tonight. We had full tummies (thankful to the Prophet for that food storage encouragement), a glowing Christmas tree that we'll decorate tomorrow as we turn on our Christmas songs (hello, Playlist!), and the warmth and crackle of a fire in the fireplace. The baby was pattering his little feet upstairs holding onto his "baby" stuffed animal, eager to snuggle into bed for stories. One of the children was snoring (he's sick), but that means he found some peace for the night, too. And the sounds of children snuggling into their beds. That peace and reassurance of motherhood. It is it's own blessing.

I found some Peace in this storm in my life. It's just in the rythm of the days and nights here. It's in the whispering of the children as they go to bed. It's in the routine. It's in the scriptures, prayers, and blessings from obedience. But, that's what was the Peace...the normalicy of the night.

Wined and Dined....

This is Stan Wines. He's a great man. His wife (Catherine) and he live out in the sticks. They are some of my favorite people in the world. Either of them would give you the last crumb of bread they had, the shirt off their backs, or any time they had to spare. They are just some of the absolute best Christians I know. They are the ones that show up on the widow's door when I don't. And the ones to take in the stray puppies. And turn them into masterfully obedient dogs. They are the ones that will be there when times get tough. Really. No fair-weather friends here. Just magnificent people! They are great fun to be around, too.

This is Stan's truck (white, of course). He logs land (one of many skills and jobs). Sometimes he gets (ahem)... "scraps". Yesterday, Stan brought me some "scraps" from a job. I couldn't have been more giddy. Really. Seriously.Now, Stan is lifting TREES with his toy. I mean, truck. Entire trees. Multiples at once.

This is what the truck looked like when he came. A wee bonnie load. Yup. HUGE! I about died. In a good way.

After it was unloaded, it looked like this. Please note the size of the COW, fence (4'), and boys in the pictures. This is a huge pile of "scraps". So, we spent the rest of the afternoon trying to keep up with Stan and his saw. Me and the girls would load and stack the wood after Stan sliced it off the pile (like butter), and Dakota split it. Dakota did a great job splitting. I was very happy he could do that for us. We were tired at the end of the day...and not much of the pile is gone!! We have much more work to do!
So, once it was unloaded, Stan loaded his truck. I've always wondered how they get the back half onto the front half. Logically, they pick it up and put it there.... duh. I should've figured.

And after all that work, we ate. Like pigs. We had a full dinner (the first real one we've had in weeks due to traveling), and a nice dessert of peach crisp with vanilla ice cream. Stan stayed to tell us all some stories. I tell you, he's a MASTER story teller. He has us all on the edge of our seats waiting for the story's next detail. And then we all laugh until we cry, pee or choke! It's so much fun!!! I slept well last night...heart, mind and tummy all at ease. I love that. Thanks Stan and Catherine. I appreciate all you do!

You can't take your eyes off it, can you?

As a mother, I can point out the very nice hair on this little guy. I can point out how clean he is (after his bath). I can even try to distract you with the nasty white marks on my bookshelf that our dadgum vacuum leaves when we rub against it. But, no matter what I try to point out...you keep lookin' at this little guy's search for buried treasure, don't you??
And, as a mother, you have a strong impulse to go fix it that you're trying to repress. You want to sneak up quietly and pull that finger out, and wipe it down with a handiwipe. You do. I feel it.

But, you can't.

Yes, even she knows the urge is there. She also knows how WRONG this is to a mother's psyche. She can't help but laugh hard as the poor, sleepy little cherub snoozes blissfully unaware of where he left is finger.

I'll bet you're snickerin', too, aren't you??? We really can't "pick on him", now can we? He's little and innocent, and has NO clue what is up that little tunnel on his face. NO clue.

And he has no idea I'll show this sweet little picture to his girlfriend someday, either. Shhh...Ellie....Don't tell!

Buddy, can you spare a dime?

With all these little ones, there is no way I could afford to pay allowance. I've always been against getting paid just to exist. I also think regular stuff should just be done, and not paid for. So, around here they have regular chores that are done daily. No pay for that (unless you count good food, nice sleeping arrangements, clean clothes, etc.).

But then there's other work that needs done. Hard work for little hands. We have weeds. Quite a few have cropped up in our new garden area by the barn.

So I hatched a plan... they want money, I want fewer weeds. So, I got a few buckets out. And gave them a visual (for motiviation, right?)... I have this coin machine that I feed frequently after grocery shopping. It's really cool, actually. I've rolled lots of change over the past couple of years. So, the children picked a bucket's worth of weeds for $1. I had $40 in change, so I thought this would be win-win. I didn't mind getting rid of some pennies, nickles, and dimes.

This is what they did! I'm impressed!

And, I'm out $20!!