Thank goodness there are those out there that can say it better than me. Listen to this (you may need to turn on your sound...but it'll be worth it, honestly).

STAND BACK UP (by Sugarland)

Go ahead and take your best shot,

Let 'er rip, give it all you've got,

I'm laid out on the floor,

but I've been here before,

I may stumble,

yeah I might fall,

I'm only human but aren't we all?

I might lose my way,

but hear me when I say,

I will stand back up,

Youll know just the moment when I've have enough,

Sometimes I'm afraid,

and I don't feel that tough,

But I'll stand back up.

I've been beaten up and bruised,

I've been kicked right off my shoes,

Been down on my knees more times than you'd believe,

When the darkness tries to get me,

There's a Light that just won't let me,

It might take my pride,

and my tears may fill my eyes,

But I'll stand back up.

I've weathered all these storms,

But I just turn them into wind,

so I can fly,

If what don't kill you makes you stronger,

When I take my last breath,

That's when I'll just give up.

So, go ahead to take your best shot,

Let 'er rip, give it all you've got,

You might win this round but you can't keep me down,

'Cause I'll stand back up,

And you'll know just the moment when I've had enough,

Sometimes I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough,

But I'll stand back up.

You'll know just the moment when I've had enough,

Sometimes I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough,

But I'll stand back up.

Peace on Earth

It's been a very hard couple of months for our little family. We've struggled on many fronts. With no money (the ex stopped making any support payments), no lawyer (yes, they do expect paid, afterall), and no sleep, I began to panic. How would I feed the children? How can we keep the house warm and the lights on? How can I fight this huge legal battle with no help, and no money to GET help??? What would I do for the holidays so the children didn't feel hurt?

When all else fails, get on your knees, Girl! I've been able to find some Peace. I can feed my family because I have food storage and there are those that will help with what I can't store. These great friends have been by me for years...they are so sweet and dear! They have been a huge blessing to me. There are those that can explain law to me so I can do some things myself until I can get money to get a lawyer (that will require the ex to part with money, so I don't see that happening...I know, I know..."bitter ex wife"...yeah, imagine that). They are there to give me the joke of the day, share a fun movie/story with us, or just here to laugh and break up the darkness in my little brain. They lift me, and my children and help us to find comfort. They keep us "steadfast and immovable". That's what friends are...little angels with BIG hearts! PEACEMAKERS. ;)

It began to change a little yesterday. It was Thanksgiving. We wrote down on paper all that we were thankful for, and cut each item up (and folded it for privacy) and put it in a jar on the table. It was a nice way for them to put their "hearts out there" without having to say it out loud (which was helpful to some of the sick ones here who can't really talk without coughing!). We ate well...food storage---yahoo! I have never realized how much of Thanksgiving is canned goods! Are you grinning, too? I had everything but the marshmallows. It was great. We were feeling thankful and happy (and sleepy).

Later, we decided to dig through all the drawers, shelves, old jackets, cabinets, and toy room clutter for change...little coins., lost piggy banks, hidden stashes. We found almost $64.00 worth! It was a fun way to explore the little nooks of our home (and a way to find the drawers that need the most attention NOW). We then decided what to do with that money. Their faces lit up as they thought of the good they could do with those little, tiny, coins. Ahhhh...the Spirit was working with us.

We toyed with how to use it. It was debated, discussed, and finally, part of the answer came last night. I was dinking around checking out the famous "Black Friday" ads after the children went to bed. (A girl can dream!) Walmart was having a sale on Christmas trees! So, we used a little part of our coins to get a Christmas tree (getting up at 4:30am...uuggh). And I learned something in the process...Walmart takes rolled coins! Tree found, we came home and went back to bed. Thankful for blankets.

That added to the spirit of the home's holiday atmosphere. The rest of the coins will be used for good deeds. The children will decide as the days go on how to use what they found. The true Spirit of Christmas will be found this year, I'm sure! Despite the current challenges, I have much to be thankful for. Mostly, those cute little faces (some taller than me) that trust me, and love me, and work with me. They each are great. And together, we're unbeatable!

I was putting the little ones to bed tonight. We had full tummies (thankful to the Prophet for that food storage encouragement), a glowing Christmas tree that we'll decorate tomorrow as we turn on our Christmas songs (hello, Playlist!), and the warmth and crackle of a fire in the fireplace. The baby was pattering his little feet upstairs holding onto his "baby" stuffed animal, eager to snuggle into bed for stories. One of the children was snoring (he's sick), but that means he found some peace for the night, too. And the sounds of children snuggling into their beds. That peace and reassurance of motherhood. It is it's own blessing.

I found some Peace in this storm in my life. It's just in the rythm of the days and nights here. It's in the whispering of the children as they go to bed. It's in the routine. It's in the scriptures, prayers, and blessings from obedience. But, that's what was the Peace...the normalicy of the night.

Wined and Dined....

This is Stan Wines. He's a great man. His wife (Catherine) and he live out in the sticks. They are some of my favorite people in the world. Either of them would give you the last crumb of bread they had, the shirt off their backs, or any time they had to spare. They are just some of the absolute best Christians I know. They are the ones that show up on the widow's door when I don't. And the ones to take in the stray puppies. And turn them into masterfully obedient dogs. They are the ones that will be there when times get tough. Really. No fair-weather friends here. Just magnificent people! They are great fun to be around, too.

This is Stan's truck (white, of course). He logs land (one of many skills and jobs). Sometimes he gets (ahem)... "scraps". Yesterday, Stan brought me some "scraps" from a job. I couldn't have been more giddy. Really. Seriously.Now, Stan is lifting TREES with his toy. I mean, truck. Entire trees. Multiples at once.

This is what the truck looked like when he came. A wee bonnie load. Yup. HUGE! I about died. In a good way.

After it was unloaded, it looked like this. Please note the size of the COW, fence (4'), and boys in the pictures. This is a huge pile of "scraps". So, we spent the rest of the afternoon trying to keep up with Stan and his saw. Me and the girls would load and stack the wood after Stan sliced it off the pile (like butter), and Dakota split it. Dakota did a great job splitting. I was very happy he could do that for us. We were tired at the end of the day...and not much of the pile is gone!! We have much more work to do!
So, once it was unloaded, Stan loaded his truck. I've always wondered how they get the back half onto the front half. Logically, they pick it up and put it there.... duh. I should've figured.

And after all that work, we ate. Like pigs. We had a full dinner (the first real one we've had in weeks due to traveling), and a nice dessert of peach crisp with vanilla ice cream. Stan stayed to tell us all some stories. I tell you, he's a MASTER story teller. He has us all on the edge of our seats waiting for the story's next detail. And then we all laugh until we cry, pee or choke! It's so much fun!!! I slept well last night...heart, mind and tummy all at ease. I love that. Thanks Stan and Catherine. I appreciate all you do!

You can't take your eyes off it, can you?

As a mother, I can point out the very nice hair on this little guy. I can point out how clean he is (after his bath). I can even try to distract you with the nasty white marks on my bookshelf that our dadgum vacuum leaves when we rub against it. But, no matter what I try to point out...you keep lookin' at this little guy's search for buried treasure, don't you??
And, as a mother, you have a strong impulse to go fix it that you're trying to repress. You want to sneak up quietly and pull that finger out, and wipe it down with a handiwipe. You do. I feel it.

But, you can't.

Yes, even she knows the urge is there. She also knows how WRONG this is to a mother's psyche. She can't help but laugh hard as the poor, sleepy little cherub snoozes blissfully unaware of where he left is finger.

I'll bet you're snickerin', too, aren't you??? We really can't "pick on him", now can we? He's little and innocent, and has NO clue what is up that little tunnel on his face. NO clue.

And he has no idea I'll show this sweet little picture to his girlfriend someday, either. Shhh...Ellie....Don't tell!

Buddy, can you spare a dime?

With all these little ones, there is no way I could afford to pay allowance. I've always been against getting paid just to exist. I also think regular stuff should just be done, and not paid for. So, around here they have regular chores that are done daily. No pay for that (unless you count good food, nice sleeping arrangements, clean clothes, etc.).

But then there's other work that needs done. Hard work for little hands. We have weeds. Quite a few have cropped up in our new garden area by the barn.

So I hatched a plan... they want money, I want fewer weeds. So, I got a few buckets out. And gave them a visual (for motiviation, right?)... I have this coin machine that I feed frequently after grocery shopping. It's really cool, actually. I've rolled lots of change over the past couple of years. So, the children picked a bucket's worth of weeds for $1. I had $40 in change, so I thought this would be win-win. I didn't mind getting rid of some pennies, nickles, and dimes.

This is what they did! I'm impressed!

And, I'm out $20!!

A Girl and her Horse...

What is it about us girls and horses? I was horse crazy as a child. I knew everything there was to know about Man O War, Kentucky Derby, Triple Crowns, etc. I went to polo shows with my mom in the summer...eating cheese and crackers, and watching the Ladies in their summer hats glide by me. I wanted to be a Lady, too. But, the Ladies didn't ride. They watched. I wanted to run in the summer fields as fast as the horse could go. Someday I will.

My girls are horse crazy, too. Finally, summer has sprung in our house (looonnnnggg school year!) which means freedom to PLAY! J loves this. We appreciate Sister B teaching my girls how to ride. She's a great teacher. Many of her students took prizes at the local fair, which is nice. So, we're beginning training into a wonderful world of freedom. And manure. And blue jeans, boots, and did I mention FREEDOM?

After the lesson comes the love. The time to care for your horse, and let them know you appreciated their time. This is where the heart gets tied to the sport.

She's got it down.

It's just a gentle way of life...standing there slowly brushing off the steed. Love that.

COWBOY LOGIC

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Bozeman , Montana , awaiting their flights. One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer. Another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show, and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East .

Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes. The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained Stetson forward over his face.

Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, "At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few." The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?" The Montana cowboy shifts a toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a drawl, "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a comin'..."

Early Mornings...

Early morning seminary for the youth has changed my "internal clock". I wake up early naturally now. Of course, years and years of sleep deprivation, and now being able to sleep peacefully each night, may have something to do with it, too. (But there is nothing as sweet as a new baby that needs its mother to cuddle it in the wee hours!)

Anyway, I'm up early now. I have this beautiful sunrise over the mountains each morning into my bedroom. The sun shines right onto my face in the morning, giving me a warm wake up. Very nice. It has motivated me recently to get out and do some early morning hikes, and run around a bit before the children get up.

The other morning, I found out that the local hot ballooners were going to gather that morning and take off together out by the airport. Fun idea. So, I went. It was 6:30 a.m. I am glad I went. I got some beautiful shots, and watched alot of the little children stare in awe at these great big balloons! Mine were with David that day, so I was watching other people's children, which is often so much more relaxing, and you can absorb their faces, and not worry about a thing. It was sweet to watch their eyes widen as the balloons were filled and would lumber up to "stand tall". (I didn't take pictures of the children so their parents didn't glare at me, or wonder--but they were SO cute!)

The sun was rising up behind most of these balloons, which just made it feel even more inspiring. I would watch the people holding the long ropes to keep the balloons from rising up and hitting the neighboring balloon. They all were smiling. As the balloons heated up, they would kinda wobble up and stand as these folks let go of the ropes slowly. It was like watching a big giant wake up and stand and stretch!

Sometimes it would look like they bumped into the one next to them afterall, but it didn't seem to do any harm.

And I would listen to the buzz of the workers as they held the ropes...they all were chattering away. I am guessing most, if not all of them, knew each other, and this is just their own special hobby. They would tolerate those of us that came for the show, but they acted almost like we weren't there.

As they fire up these torches to heat the air in the balloon, the torches make a very loud noise. But, it's cool to watch. I kept wondering how many "rookies" had burned their balloons because they didn't keep the fabric far enough away from the torch. I hope not many.

Before too long (maybe 20 minutes of heating the air), the balloons begin to float a foot or two off the ground. From there the team working on the balloon begins to walk the balloon out to a more open area. It kinda floats along like a great big kid bouncing along next to it's parents (those holding the ropes)! Once it's out in the open area (usually into the middle of the "circle" they tend to set up in), they would let go of the ropes, and those in the basket would fire up the torch, and let it go! It was fun to watch. They ALWAYS waved to those on the ground, like they were taking a long voyage or something. Very fun.

Then one after the other they would lift off. Each one "walking" out into the middle and going up!

And before long they all were flying. Quietly floating. It was fun to see, and to dream. Good Morning!

Raising Butterflies...

The older girls like to do this. They get the little caterpillars in the mail. They are in a container (and don't ever leave it!) and the container has the food they need in it. They spin webs, and grow (notice the size difference on these guys in 3-4 days!), and then go into their cocoons.

Notice on this container on the right...we have one in a cocoon (far right hanging), one in the middle that is changing (the bottom part is ready for the cocoon and is in the process of changing), and the one on the left is getting ready, but hasn't done it. To watch these guys go into their cocoons is cool! After about 5 minutes they're all in a shell and there they stay for about a week. And the girls wait around like a bunch of ninnies waiting in a hospital waiting room for a new baby! Fun to watch....

And then they are "born" or hatched!

We keep them in this netting thing. Cheyennah got them to stay on her pillow on her dresser! Talk about spoiled butterflies! She also held them frequently...and they seemed to like her.

It's really a cool thing to do for anyone, but for us at home, it's a hands on lesson for all of us!

Talents....

I totally believe in the doctrine that we all have talents. We have a few good ones around here...piano, running, climbing mountains, swimming, etc. I'm told we should encourage a child's talents. I think this is true in some cases. Here is Solomon learning a new talent...the summersault. Good for him! He's preparing for the Olympics next month! (Our friend, Carly, helped him out with this.) I'm proud of him for this little skill! (Turn off the music at the bottom of the blog so you can hear this video....)

Now, Solomon has a cute talent. But, he also has big brothers and sisters. They all teach him more sinister things than sweet Carly did! I like Carly's cheerful encouragement. Solomon hasn't learned to discern "sweet encouragement" from any other form...and thus, with the gleam in his eye of a willing little soul, he'll learn just about anything you ask him to. We're all pretty much the same, aren't we?? I think so.

Here is Hunter. And one of his talents. He shares it with others, too. Like these guys...(notice the look on Solomon's face..."am I doin' it right?!!!--such a gleam of fun in his eyes!)

Well. Lest you think the boys are the only ones around here with any talents, I'll show you what Ellie then decided to teach the boys! She's a clever girl, and not one to be overlooked in anything. So, here she is showing Hunter her version of "talent"!!!

She didn't realize, however, where Hunter would take that....(see his eyes??--totally mischievious and sly!)

Nor where it would go from there!~~~~~

He's a cute little devil! I'm gonna show this one to his fiancee when he's older! I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Why Indeed?

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

7. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?

8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” when we’re already there?

10. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called “after dark” when it’s really “after light”?

12. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?

14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?

15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read alright?

20. Why is bra singular, and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons on a remote control when you know the batteries
are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags, and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels…aren’t we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Hair....

Ok. So, I have some hair. I am happy to have hair. It's a nice perk from my dad, I think! Anyway, some of my children have hair, too. Ryken's got LOTS of hair. He sometimes is happy about it, but not always. This leads to some funny mornings....And then there's the girl's hair.... We have long hair (here's a back shot for my mom--it's to my lower back, Ma!)...

So, when I'm guarding at the lake, I braid it up into corn rows (like above). This keeps the nasty stuff from getting stuck in it, and helps me keep cooler, too, when standing in the sun for hours on end. So, it's fun to do. And, I can wash it, which is great (braids hold water for a LONG time)!

And, when I take it out, this is what it looks like....(after a good washing and brushing!)

I'm really thankful for my hair. It could be falling out, or going gray.....like Spike's. He's not lookin' so happy now that he's going gray!

But, he DOES look regal, wouldn't you say?

Wow. We've been busy around here. Here is a picture of the youth at 3:30am heading out the door for their pioneer trek! For 4 days they will brave the heat (100 degree weather!), the wind (gusts up to 25 mph!) and fatigue (pulling a handcart full of equipment) in order to learn what it was like for previous generations to settle this part of the country! It'll be a memorable experience.

To prepare for this, they sewed their own clothes. This is Jacqueline's purple dress. She made 90% of this!! She also has a dark green one! I was happy for her to learn this skill. (Her hair is still braided from girls' camp.) I think she looks cute!

Cheyennah made a brown dress and a navy blue dress. She wasn't much for taking pictures, but she did work hard, and I was pleased. She also helped a friend make 2 skirts. She stayed up late one night to do this for her friend, which made me proud of her willingness to sacrifice! What a lady. In one day, we made one green pioneer dress (all of it!), 2 skirts, 2 aprons, one bonnett, 2 men's shirts, and finished the details (buttons, hems, etc.) on 3 other pioneer dresses! I had some help from Cheyennah, and a gal from church who did the button holes for me, and a youth from church who sewed all the wooden buttons on one of the dresses! Dakota helped a great deal, too.

Here's mom's dress. I didn't get to go on the trek (the adults needed to be married to go), but I had made this dress before then. I loaned it to a very nice friend to wear on the trek. She was a sweetie, and I'm glad the dress got to go!

So, we're glad we learned a new skill. I'll never worry about fixing a seam again...and Cheyennah can put in zippers now. I can even make a shirt (although I seriously need to work on the cuffs!)!! So, we're enjoying our summer. If we do nothing else, it will be a success. I'll try to get some pictures of the youth when they come back. I'm sure they'll be tired!

How to sew. Really. I know we don't NEED to, but it was part of the youth's trek to dress like pioneers. Walmart doesn't sell pioneer dresses and bonnets. So, I had to learn to sew. The girls did, too. And, even Dakota got a few lessons! In one day we finished 2 men's dress shirts (loose like in the 1800's), 2 skirts, 1 full pioneer dress, 2 aprons, 1 bonnet, and the details (buttons, hems, etc.) for 3 other dresses! Yes. One machine, one day, one tired mamma!